My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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