giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize