what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
