is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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