did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The adults are the big ones right?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize