there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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