"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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