just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
