NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
