Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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