new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
