I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
