thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
