she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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