I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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