No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
