I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
