Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize