I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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