I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize