The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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