I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
