I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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