Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
this boner is exhausting
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Can I color on your dick again?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
