I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Found your dick twin last night
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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