I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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