Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
