brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize