All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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