My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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