Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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