It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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