Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
