I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
