Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
