Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
