thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
