He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
