dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Someone came in the potted fern
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
