Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
