its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
How's work?
Spinning.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
