It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
