We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Randomize
