Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
