You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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