So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize