You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize