It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
