her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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