barbara walters just said penis...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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