We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
