i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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