Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize