If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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