She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So much rum. So many feels.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
