chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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