sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
