I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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