I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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