Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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