i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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