we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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