once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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